Monday, June 28, 2010

Sunny with a chance of....

Dustin and I just returned from a much needed 4 days off of life!  We went to the Maibach cabin in Michigan and spent a 4 days relaxing!  Dustin fished pretty much non-stop for 4 days.  I went with him a few times...and caught my first fish ever!  Of course I wouldnt touch it so I swung it around on the pole and smacked D in the back of the head with it!  "Take it off, take it off" Im yelling to him!  Im the only person I know who goes fishing but crys when they actually catch a fish because Im worried the hook is hurting it! 

Some friends of ours joined us for 2 of the days and we had a good time with them.  They brought their almost 2 year old son with them, and we werent too sure how that was going to work, but he did really well!  It was fun to watch him "discover" all the new things!  He even go to go on his first boat ride, and his first tubing ride there!  He makes the cutest expresssions and it was a blast to watch him!

We are back to work now....back to the daily grind feeling a little bit more rested!  :)

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Mothers you mock me!

Is it wrong to say that in some ways, I HATE MOTHERS DAY and Fathers day!?!  I really dont...but it sure is a cruel day for some, isn't it?  Those who are infertile, those who have lost children, those who are estranged from a child, those whose children are POW's or even MIA.....its a sad day for many!  I think most people get so wrapped up in the "joy" of the day and forget to acknowledge the pain that Mothers day (or Fathers Day) may mean for many!  Sorry....I'm not trying to be negative or up on my soapbox...was just thinking about this the other day.

Mothers day this year was not as hard for me as others have been.  I am honestly getting to the point where Im just tired of it all.  I truly feel that whatever happens with this IVF cycle is meant to be.  And, today, Im okay with that.  Now, ask me 6 months from now and I may have changed my mind.  There is something about summer and the promise of travel and being outside doing all the things I love that makes me okay with never being a Mom.  I know I would have to give those things up and honestly, its a hard thought.  It would be hard to kayak with a kid!  Ha!
I also think Moms day wasnt as hard this year because Dustin and I discussed it prior and decided to ignore it, so to speak.  We slept in Sunday morning (no church for me where they hand out roses to the Moms) and then spent the morning together talking and drinking coffee.  Then Dave and Annette came over and we went to lunch and to the movies.  Actually, Annette and I went to the movies and the men went kayak shopping.  We all met back at our house for mojitos and dinner on the grill.

Our plans for Fathers Day are much of the same:  staying home and working around the house.

The one bummer of Mothers day this year is that I did not get to talk to my mom or my step mom at all.  I hope they knew I was thinking of them.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


I just read my cousin Sarah's blog.  She is asking for guesses as to what sex her child (to be born SOON!)  is going to be.  She knows what sex it is....I think she just gets a kick out of hearing all of our opinions and our reasoning to back them up!  Too funny... Im sure she and Klint are getting a great laugh at all of our musings!

Her question made me start to think about baby names.  Since it seems like Dustin and I are never going to have a child, I thought I would share some of the names that have made our "maybe someday" list.  Feel free to use one of them in the future for your children....if you dare!  :)

Boy Names: 
Breaux (my fave!)
Declan (the name we would most likely use)
Danson (though Dustin claims Danson Donovan sounds like a really fruity mans name!)
Cletus....not really...just thought Id throw that in for a laugh.

Girl Names:
DaVeigh (pronounced Davey)

Now you see why we dont have kids:  God is saving them from being tortured by us from day one with a weird name!

Rain, Rain go away!

Is anyone else tired of the rain?!  It seems like it rains every day...or at least every other!  WOW!  On the plus side, Dustin and I were sitting in the living room last night in the dark (because our power was once again out) when Dustin noticed a beautiful rainbow outside.  It was really cool!  The sky was dark and stormy but there was a very vivid rainbow!  Amazing, awe inspiring, awesome! 

Other than the rain, it feels like not much new has been happening here in the Donovan household.  We have a bunch of graduation parties to attend this weekend, and a hit a few last weekend too.  We are packing to leave to go to the Maibach cabin in Michigan next week for some time away together.  I think that will be fun!  We have a few friends going with us so it should be a good time.  Its nice to have the cabin to go to for an inexpensive getaway! 

On the babymaking front, we still dont know what we are doing.  I really feel torn between decisions!  I strongly feel like the embryos we adopted were meant to be for us.  But we cannot afford to do it.  Because my insurance wont cover the procedure, we need to pay the fees upfront.  Its not that expensive (if you think 6 grand is cheap) but we just do not have that kind of money to put down!  The other option is to sell back the embryos, use that money towards IVF and hope that it works this time.  We have 3 more weeks until we need to know what we are doing for sure!  I keep praying for a sign.  Im not very perceptive and I know God knows this:  Im begging to wake up some morning and have the words spraypainted on my living room wall!  ha!  I really thought I knew when we adopted the embryos and I still feel lead in that direction....but the cost of it is impossible!  So, Im not sure what to do.  If we go the IVF route, it will only cost us about 2 thousand since 80% of it would be covered by insurance!

 Dustin says he is okay with either of the two routes....but only those two options!  The doctor is really pushing for us to use a sperm donor if we do IVF but we have agreed not to.  My dear husband is not comfortable with the idea that the child would be half mine, but not any of his!  He prefers that it be all of ours, or none of ours....I can see his point and wholly agree to follow his decisions on this! 

What to do, what to do....Ill just keep on praying and hope that we know soon!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

A weekend away was just what the doctor ordered!

Dustin and I went on our annual Memorial Day camping trip last weekend and had a wonderful time!  We had invited a few others from church, along with some friends of ours:  all in all, about 30 people were there over the weekend (though not all at once).  I wont bore you with the details:  Ill just say that stronger friendships were forged and bittersweet reality hit me as well as I realized I've grown over the past few years (and have "outgrown" some of my friends). 

While we were there, we got a text from my brother saying that my Grandpa Kipfer had had a stroke, was lifeflighted to Fort Wayne, and was in ICU.  Dustin and I visited him last night and he seems to be doing well.  He has regained motion in his arm and is working on regaining it in his hand and fingers.  Please keep him in your prayers!

On the infertlity front, we have not made any firm decisions yet.  Dustin and I talked about it agian on Tuesday.  I got a text from him out of the blue Tues morning that said "We can do IVF again."  He later admitted that he had been thinking about it the past few days.  He said he was really struck by how much he wanted kids again while we were camping with others who had kids.  It was our first vacation weve ever taken with children and we were both amazed at how well it went!  We both had so much fun with them and were amazed at how well behaved all 10 of them were! 

Dr Bopp is calling me next Tuesday to do a phone consult (which is nice because I dont have to pay an office visit fee).  We will talk about the options for IVF then.  I did talk to a nurse about it last week and she said they would be changing some of the protocols for my next round.  They would use ICSI for ALL the eggs this time and would also change up the meds I would use beforehand.  One of the biggest changes is that many of the meds would now go to IM injections....and since they are oils, would have to be done in the heiney!  This means Dustin will have to do them for me.  I am going to ask if the thigh is an option though:  he is really FREAKED about having to give me shots.  He says he can give shots to pigs and cows all day but doing it to his wife is just weird!  If we go thru with the IVF, we will be doing it the last few weeks of August (and if its successfull, I will have all next summer off!  Heres hopin' to that!!!)  It seems like it should be an easy decision: financially its WAY cheaper to do IVF!  However, IVF is more time consuming, harder to schedule with work, has a lower success rate....not to mention we have kind of already "bonded" with those 5 embryos!  We can sell them back but it seems kind of wrong!  Im still praying for guidance!