Tuesday, April 27, 2010

What brings you joy?

I am reading a book all about finding joy in your daily life.  One of the things it encourages the reader to do is to make "joy lists" in a journal.  Well, I'm not much of a journaler.  This blog is about as close as it gets.  So, I thought I would make the lists of things that bring me joy or make me giggle!


Foods (surprise, surprise...the fatty has foods listed first!  :)  )
  Anything mexican...especially if it has guac or avocado, Munchos potato chips:  Light and crispy:  the perfect blend of grease and SALT, Dark Chocolate, Limburger cheese, Coffee, Diet Coke with lime or lemon (I prefer the real fruits though...not the flavoring that is added by the company),  Macaroni and Cheese, Ice Tea
Apparently I love anything that stains your teeth or makes your breath bad!
***Are you wondering where the veggies are?  Ha!


Books:
1. The Bible,  There Are No Children Here, Anything by Nicholas Sparks, Jodi Piccoult, or Lisa Gardner (that covers the genres of Romance, Novels, and Mysteries), Calvin and Hobbes


Music:  My music tastes change with my moods so this list is nowhere near complete; its a list of my faves as of today:   Family Force 5,  Thousand Food Krutch, George Strait (he is always on my joy list, no matter the mood!!) The Zach Brown Band, Kenny Chesney, Selah
*Nice list there:  Hard Core, country, and hymns....I like extremes I suppose


The idea of travel:  The thought of visiting (or revisiting) these places brings me joy.
*England, *France, *Anywhere in Europe, really!!!, * Australia, *Anywhere with mountains, *ALASKA (though when I visit I'm never coming back so it will really be a move, not a visit! )  *New Mexico, *Fiji, * Wyoming, *Montana, *Oregon, *Washington (the state, not the city!), *San Antonio, *Prague, *Ireland
Many more....I have the travel bug!
Can you tell I like wide open spaces and nature?   


Others:
Flowers, spending time with family, Fall leaves, the smells of both the produce dept in a grocery store and of fall, football (especially the Pittsburgh Steelers), bonfires, 4-wheelers, mudding, camping, swimming, margaritas, cold beer, mowing the yard, playing with my little weenie dogs, blue sky's, English Springer Spaniels, working around the yard with my husband, riding bikes


I could go on and on with things that make me happy.....its funny how if we think about it, we can be more than happy and content with the lives we have right here, right now! 


I hope you, like me, take some time today to find joy in the little things!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Hurry Up and Wait!

The whole hurry up and wait concept in fertility treatments is one that drives me bonkers.  Mostly because I am not so good at the "wait" part.  Im just saying....

I went to the Rock and Worship Road Show this weekend and had a blast.  There were 7 bands there:  Sidewalk Prophets, Remedy Drive, Fee, Francesca Battistelli, Mercy Me, David Crowder Band, and Family Force 5.  Those of you who know me, and know my need for the extreme, probably can guess which was my favorite!  I wasn't all that excited about going to the concert but decided to go when all the pieces started to fall into place for me to be there.  I'm really glad I went.  I ended up enjoying it much more than I thought I would.  On top of that, it also gave me that "whoomp" I needed to get over this spiritual hump I seemed to be in.  Do you ever get that way?  What are your fixes for it?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

WE HAVE EMBRYOS!

HIP HIP HOORAY!  HIP HIP HOORAY!  HIP HOP HIPPA TO THE HOP....HIP HIP HOORAY!

WE HAVE EMBRYOS!

Last Thursday was officially "good news Thursday!"  We had the trifecta of good news going on in the Donovan house!

1)  They came and set up the pool.  They dug the hole, put the sand down, and put the pool up....all in one day.  It is now full of water and running smoothly!  I couldn't believe that both a bobcat AND a dump truck could fit in my back yard at once, but they can.  I have the pictures to prove it.  I would post them, but Im completely computer illiterate and have no clue how to do so!

2)  While I was sitting here watching the men work and working on my tan (it was 80 some degrees that day!) my phone rang.  I answered it and heard "Amanda, this is Danielle with Dr.Bopps office.  We have good news for you!"  The donors of the embryos are very similar to Dustin and I.  The male was a little shorter than D but has blonde hair, blue eyes like Dustin.  He has a college degree in mechanical engineering and is a small engine pilot in his free time.  The woman is a bit taller than me, a bit skinnier, and has brown hair, brown eyes.  Her college degree is in electrical engineering.  She said in her bio that she has a great singing voice and is very musical.  So.....we are praying for guidance as to if and when should we take these embryos.  There are 5 available but chances are that only 3 will survive the thawing process!  Please keep us in your prayers on this decision.  It seems like its a total GOD thing but we want to be sure. 

3)  After getting off the phone with the embryo coordinator, I thought I better check with Dr Bopps insurance gurus and find out what I would need to do, should we decide to use these embryos.  While I was on the phone with her, I questioned what our balance was for our failed IVF cycle.  I had only recieved one bill from them on it so far, and it arrived on Monday, three days prior to the phone call.  I figured we would be receiving more bills eventually.  The gal on the phone was super nice, and Im sure it made her day to be able to tell me that all events associated with IVF had went to the insurance companies....and all we had left to pay was the $406.00 not covered by insurance!  I paid that right then and there on the phone!  WoW!  God is sure looking out for us, isn't he!?! 

So, that was my Thursday in a nutshell!  I got a pool and a baby (maybe) in one day! 

My grandparents 60th Wedding Anniversary surprize party was Friday night and went very well!  My brother, Tyler, and his wife, Janna did a great job with the decorations!  My Mom was out for the evening...it was nice to spend a few hours with my family all together like that.  It doesnt happen often.

Anyway...I'll keep you updated on our embryo situation!  Have a great week, y'all!

Friday, April 9, 2010

I heart swimming pools and sunshine!

YIPPIE!  A life long dream of mine is coming true! We are finally getting a pool!  Hip hip HOORAY!

I have wanted a pool ever since I was a child.  I have always been an outside girl.  I will take dirt and mud and hiking and fishing over sitting inside watching tv or playing video games any day!  As a child, and later a teen, I would beg my mother for a pool every year.  We had the perfect yard for it, and already had the perfect deck....I never could understand her refusal! 

Dustin and I have been together 6 years now....and every year I ask for a pool.  However, Marlise, his sister, had a big beautiful pool in her back yard so he always told me to just use hers.  For years she let friends and family alike share her pool, and while I appreciated having a place to swim and sun, it was not the same as having one in my own back yard.  But, alas, Marlise's pool officially died over the winter.  I will join Dustin and her at the pool side burial!  (or tear down...however you wish to view it)  And, with no outlet for my swimming love, Dustin went into town and bought me a pool!

Its nothing fancy....just a regular above ground pool!  But I am SO EXCITED!!!  We also got  the solar heater for it so that the pool should run about 80 degrees for 6 to 7 months of the year....which means that Dustin will join me in it!  He would never swim with me at Marlises pool because it was usually only 70 degrees or so.  Hes a freeze baby.  He is still sleeping with his side of the heating blanket turned on....and set at 8!!!  Just last night he did this!  I, on the other hand, am always hot!  I have tan lines already from working out in the yard in a tank top this year!!! 

They should be coming to set the pool up in the next month and I CANT WAIT!!!  We had originally thought we would hold off on a deck for this year, but Marlise is giving us her deck from the dead pool!  AWESOME!

So, KUDOS and a HUGE HUG AND KISS to my husband for the pool! 

Now, you may be wondering how we can afford this (as some of my family so rudely inquired, "Did you win the lottery or something?!")  Not that I really owe any of you an explanation on my finances, but since Im sure you are wondering, I will tell you!  We have been trying very dilligently to live on Dustins income alone the past year or so.  A great deal of my income has went to the infertility doctor, but some of it has went into savings.  And, not that its anyones business, I am sick of putting my life on hold.  For the past 4 + years our life has revolved around baby making and saving money for it.  Its always been "after we have kids we will...."  or "Once we are done trying we will......"  Or "We would really like to ______ but we cant spend the money in case we try again to have kids."  Im sick of living a life on hold.  So yes, I took some of MY hard earned money and spent it on something I wanted.  So sue me! 

Besides, kids love pools.  And doesnt the saying go "If you build it, they will come?"    Funny!!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Disappointment...

Disappointment, I know your taste well!


Not to reveal too much info, but let me tell you about my latest “adventure.” I have not started my “cycle” since my IVF round….the second week of February. It has been 52 days since the last visit from Mother Nature. Now, for “normal” ladies who are trying to get pregnant this would be a good thing. A sure sign that something must be cooking internally, right!?! For me, it’s just another sign that my body has a really funny sense of humor (and one that I don’t “get,” let me add!)

Honestly, it is not uncommon for me to go months without a visit from my “monthly” friend. However, in the past 5 years I have learned that I tend to be a bit regular after being on the hormones. Usually when I go off the hormones I will have one or two 28-32 day cycles followed by cycles that get longer and longer between visits until I’m back to my normal every three months or so appearance. So, of course I got my hopes up when I realized it had been 50 days since my last.

I talked to Dustin about it, who cautioned me not to get excited, as we have been down this road many, many times! But of course, as much as I told myself I wasn’t expecting a positive result, sheer disappointment rushed thru my veins as once again the home pregnancy test read “SCREW YOU!” I threw it out and went about my day as if nothing happened. I mean, did I really expect anything other than a No?!

But, as I was lying in bed last night, thinking about the fact that I couldn’t sleep (it was 2 am….I’d been up since 3 am) I decided to turn on the TV. Of course it had to be the latest episode of Greys Anatomy. The one where the man is upset over his wife being in a come and her advanced directives that choose to not take any extraordinary measures to sustain her life. He just kept saying “She’s all I have. We couldn’t have kids so when she is gone, I’m all alone.” And finally, the tears came…..



That sentiment, spoken by some fictitious old man, is one of my biggest fears.