Friday, March 26, 2010

Diary of a Clumsy Oaf...

It seems as though every thing I touch lately breaks within moments of being in my posession!  Let me recount the past few weeks and thier little "incidents":

*  I dropped the HACH meter at work (that we use to test the water for Chlorine breakthru every 4 hours) and it wouldnt turn back on.  I WAS able to "fix" it about 3 hours later, after totally ticking off the charge nurse....the steam was visible coming out of her ears!

*  I primed my saline bag right into an electrical socket.  Not only did I get shocked (FUN!  I assure you!) but I also blew up the outlet and the dialysis machine! 

*  I dropped a piece of just buttered (heavily!) homemade garlic bread on my brand new L.L. Bean shirt....I had only been wearing it for literally 10 min....for the first time EVER!

*  I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet!  Not kidding!

*  I let two kids who were screwing around kick a hole in the center consel of my truck!  D chewed me out for that one!

*  I  drove D's truck and somehow, mysteriously, there is now a big dent in the side that wasnt there before!  I swear I did not hit anything! 

*  I spilled an entire can of pop into our toaster.  Luckily it was not plugged in or I would have probably received another shock! 

So.....for those of you who are considering asking me to babysit anytime may want to reconsider.  I am not clumsy on purpose...but I cannot guarantee your child will be returned in one piece!  Ha!  I better sign off now before I break my laptop....

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Information session: Complete.

So Dustin and I had our counseling "interview" Tuesday night with the Cabin counseling center in Indy.  It went pretty quickly (45 min) and was informative.  She focused a great deal on how and when to tell your child he/she is adopted.  Did you know the best time to tell them is between the ages of 7 and 12....and only after they start asking questions.  That is what we learned  :)  She also talked a bit about the different resources available to help tell your child (books, websites, etc).  Other than that, she focused on our relationship in general, touched on finances, etc....Overall, a good session, I thought.

So, now we are officially on the embryo adoption list.  We are still playing with the idea of doing another round of IVF but it is so hard to do with my work schedule.  I think that if we attempt another IVF cycle, it will not be until later in the year.  We were hoping to attempt another in May, but I just dont have the vacation time for it right now.  It is about impossible to schedule it with my work schedule.....even though IVF falls under FMLA rules, my work will not let me use FMLA.  The problem being that I cannot guarantee what days I will need off, and they schedule us months in advance.  So even though I only need 3 days off maximum, I have to take a full 2 weeks of my vacation time to make sure Im off the 3 days that I would need off.  Im sure I could probably fight this, if I was really motivated to, but what is that saying...."Dont bite the hand that feeds you?"

Im heading to Toledo tomorrow night to meet up with my friend Kailene.  Its been almost two years since I last saw her!  Im so excited!!!  It will be great to catch up with her and her daughter, Brianna. 

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Spring has sprung?

It is beautiful out today!  The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the weather is warm!  Winter is my favorite time of year, but I love the promise spring brings with it!  Im glad I live in a state that has changing seasons!

Dustin and I have an appointment tonight with the Cabin, the counseling group we are required to meet with before we can adopt embryos.  Because they are located in Indianapolis, we are able to do our session on the phone.  Dustin has to work tonight so I will go over to MCFG around 8 for our session.  Im curious what they will ask.  Dr Bopp said its more of an information session on embryo adoption than anything.  Ill keep you updated.

One of the kids in the youth group, Nick, has become very dear to Dustin, and to me.  He spends 2 or 3 evenings a week at our house.  He does his homework while there and either D or I look it over.  He joins us for dinner, too, which I am enjoying because he eats anything I make without complaining....and we have fewer leftovers that end up wasted.  Please keep Nick in your prayers the next couple of weeks.....he really is a great kid!  I sometimes feel like God sent us Nick to be our "child."  :)

My brother and I are working on planning my Grandparents 60th wedding anniversary party.  Tyler has been the main correspondant with my Mom over it.  This shall be interesting....

Have a great week, all!

Monday, March 8, 2010

The promise of summer....

I feel like this summer has a lot of promise to it already!  Its only March and yet I look at the calander and most of the summer is booked already!  Between camping trips, Dustins Bass fishing tournaments, a trip to the Maibach cabin in Michigan, a trip to North Carolina, the Stieglitz family retreat, home improvement projects, and another IVF cycle, we are swamped! 

Yes, you read that right!  We are going to attempt another IVF cycle.  I am hoping for May or June.  I'm waiting on my next cycle to start so I can do the math on the calendar to figure out when for sure!  We were driving in the car the other night and I asked Dustin if he had been thinking about his decision for our future child attempts.  He surprised me when he said he thought we should attempt one more IVF cycle.  I was thrilled, of course! 

We are currently on the embryo adoption list as well.  If embryos become available between now and then, we will go that direction instead.  We have to complete a counseling session with "The Cabin", the counseling group that Midwest Fertility uses before we can adopt embryos.  We have that session booked for next Tuesday.  The Cabin is located in Indianapolis but they allow us to do the session on the phone, which is great!

Dustin and I helped chapperone the JR High Lock In at church this past weekend!  It was a blast!   I was really dreading it but actually had a fantastic time!  The kids in our youth group, and their friends, are a blast!  Such a good group of kids!  We played all kinds of games, including Dodgeball, where I learned that I throw like a girl!  Go figure!

I want to give Dustin major props for his work this weekend!  When we lived on the farm, we had to saw our box spring in half to get it up the stairs to the bedrooms.  When we moved, the boxsprings got put back down and never rebraced. Our bed has been sagging in the middle for over a year now.  I wake up in the morning and my back hurts me so bad I can hardly walk.  I've been popping vicodin daily for I dont know how long!  Anyhow, D went to Menards this weekend, bought boards and plywood and FIXED OUR BED!  I woke up this morning and wasnt in (nearly as much) pain!  It was awesome!  What a great man!  I love that guy!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Decisions, decisions...

Dustin and I met with Dr. Bopp again yesterday to discuss our next steps and options for future treatments.  This was our followup visit from our IVF attempt.  We have had the appointment for a month and had waited for it expectantly.  We were in the doctors office about 10 minutes when Dustin got called into work and had to leave.  He missed pretty much all the doctor had to say!  I was a little frusterated but, that is life, right?! 

So the Doctor truly believes we should try IVF again.  He said that the issue with my eggs is sometimes caused when eggs are stimulated (as they are for IVF) and is not guaranteed to be present every time.  He feels we should try again, changing a variable or two.  He suggested using an egg or sperm donor, which we are not comfortable with.  He understood that, and continues to feel that doing IVF with all the eggs ICSI'ed (where they inject the sperm into the eggs) should result in some viable embryos. 

We had went into the meeting thinking that I could not have children; that it wasnt even an option.  We went in with the paperwork in hand to get on the embryo donor list.  Then he starts talking odds and success rates and it all goes fuzzy.  The odds of IVF being successfull are 70%.  The odds of a successful FET (donor embryo transfer) are only 30%.  The cost difference is actually pretty minimal.  Only about a thousand dollars difference in cost. 

This is all so confusing.  I laid in bed last night for quite a while just praying for guidance.  It hit me that this is the first time in the our fertility journey where we have to make an actual either/or decision.  In the past 4 years it has always been "Ok so that didnt work.  The next step is this."  Now the decisions are in our hands and it is so much harder!  I personally would like to try IVF one more time.  I feel like once was not enough.  However, Dustin is not so sure about that.  He told me he needs time to think about it all and I completely understand that!  I told him my preferance but also told him I would honor whatever decision he ultimatly made.  In the meantime, we are now on the donor list for embryos thru the clinic.  The good news is that we can pursue both at the same time! 

To be ready for embryo "adoption" we need to each attend counseling sessions with the couselor who works with Midwest Fertility.  The counselor is located in Indy, but allows phone sessions so we do not have to drive there.  I need to call and get those set up today. 

When I talked to the woman who runs the embryo donor program yesterday, she told me she has one set of embryos available at this time.  They are older, and no one has wanted them so far.  So if we want them, they are ours!  The issue is that they have the potential to have cystic fibrosis.  They also have leukemia X2 in their medical history.  The parents were both 5'9 and HEAVY! While I can deal with short, chunky babies (look at me....they are likely to be short and chunky anyhow!) Im not sure about the medical history.  But when she told me that these embryos have been passed up by everyone for a long time, that made me so sad for them!  Is it our job to take these unwanted children?  What would Jesus do?  Is it fair to disregard them because of their potential medical history?  Neither Dustin or I know any of our medical history...our own children could have all of those things, and more, really!

So many decisions.....please pray that we will find some clarity in the situation.  Im praying for peace for the next step!